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Yeah, I'm playing catch up. I actually had this post started on Thursday but hadn't had a chance to tally it up and post it until now.

Daily points allowance: 25
Weekly points remaining: 20.5 (dammit Don Pablos!)

1 nutrigrain bar, 2 pts - 23

2 frozen waffles, 4 pts - 19
1 serving butter, 1 point - 18
1 serving (1/4 cup) lite syrup, 2 pts - 16
8oz Diet V8 Splash, 0 pts

1 serving Pretzel chips (mmmm), 2 pts - 14
1 pink lady apple, 2 pts - 12

2 cups romaine and spinach, 0 pts - 12
1 1/2 tbsp bacon bits, 1 pt - 11
1 tbsp lite caesar dressing, 2 pts - 9
1 mixed fruit cup, 1 pt - 8
1 Yoplait light yogurt, 2 pts - 6
1 piece of my coworker's gorilla bread, 5 pts is my best estimate - 1

Total points used - 24
Weekly points remaining - 20.5
Fruit and veggie servings - 5 (yay!)
Water intake - 4

Wednesday July 21, 2010

You probably thought I forgot, didn't you. Well, here I am!
Back on track (sortof) and posting my food.
I kinda blew it today because we went to Don Pablos for lunch but at least I counted it. I need to plan my meals for this week pronto so we don't have to go out to eat again. Arghh.

Total Points Allowance: 25
Weekly points: 35

1 nutrigrain bar, 2 pts - 23

Don Pablos spicy beef chimichanga 26 pts - 0/32
side of mashed potatoes, 2.5 - 0/29.5
1/2 side of spoon bread, 3 - 0/26.5
1 unsweetened iced tea

30g cheddar rice cakes, 2 points - 0/24.5

2 cups romaine, 0 points - 0/24.5
1 serving lite pepper parmesan dressing, 1 point - 0/23.5
1 1/2 tbsp bacon bits, 1 point - 0/22.5
1 Yoplait yogurt, 2 points - 0/20.5
48oz water while at work

Total points used: 25
Weekly points remaining: 20.5

Fruits/veggies: 2 servings
Water: 56 oz (does unsweet tea count? I forget.)

It's not pretty.

I've been struggling the past several days. There is no need to lie about it. It's been rough.
I had good intentions, like I always do. I started out with a plan, albeit a half ass plan. It was something. Then, it all went to hell. There was a lunch that escalated into a couple lunches that snowballed into a few dinners that became 2 slices of wedding cake that became "Omg, why isn't my zipper staying up?".
And that's where I am right now. Feeling really fat, bloated and gross.
I was dreading the scale today and even thought about avoiding it. That was just a silly thought though. The whole reason I'm in this mess is because I haven't been accountable and haven't been honest about my progress. I've fallen into that rut where it becomes okay to think that you can binge today because you can always start over tomorrow. Of course, tomorrow becomes the next day and the next day and the next day and there you are.
So, here we are.

That's a gain of 5.2.
Makes me want to cry.
I know this journey is going to be full of ups and downs and highs and lows and yes, even gains along with the losses. So, why do I feel like such a loser?
I certainly don't have the answers. I could cut myself some slack and I kindof have. But, I know that's not the mindset I need. It's okay to forgive myself for the little slips, but not this. If I forgive myself for this, in my mind that will make it okay and it will continue.
I need to turn it around and get back on track. Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow is when I start. Again.
I need to set a short term goal to help keep me motivated. I'll get back to you on that. Tomorrow.
I can do this. I know we all can.
Who's with me?